Yesterday, my current roommate was brought in. She's very old, cranky and coughs incessantly. I know the cough isn't her fault but she also hates me and I'm sure some of its' loudness is on purpose.
I am going to list 12 items she may or may not have said to me. Three of these statements are not true.
Leave which ones you believe to be fake in the comments section. Winner gets a set of my fancy free hospital toiletries.
Or something like that.
A) Shouldn't you be on the peds ward?
B) Why don't you have kids yet? You're 26 and you're unmarried? This is a disgrace.
C) The nurse said you've been sick since you were a baby. I survived the Holocaust.
D) Looks like you're going to have varicose veins on those stumpy legs of yours.
E) To the nurse, about me: "I think she just went number 2 in the bathroom, please make sure someone scrubs it before I need to go."
F) You're certainly loud for such a little person.
H) How tall are you really? I don't believe you're over 4 foot.
I) Another cranberry juice? Juice is very fattening. You're not married yet!
J) Your father lives in Ocean Grove? Is he one of those Bible Christian types?
K) While coughing up phlegm as I walk by: "See? This is what pain is like!!"
L) Will you talk a little lower? I am really tired!
M) I had thyroid cancer too but my scar is much worse, so I don't want to hear it.
Looks like I'll be released today, mostly because I've threatened to impale myself with this IV pole if I'm not gone by mid-afternoon. There's only so much damage my sheltered little brain can take!
I will post the answers tomorrow morning, July 8.
Love and I Need More Drugs,
UPDATE: No one won! The winning answers were: B, D and J.