3/19/12

Hands of a Child, Chest of a Lady

Good morning and welcome to Music Monday, a new column on this here blog wherein I post an original song every Monday. So, like, once a month.

Oh, for all those new readers (a family member who just learned to read maybe?), by "write and sing", I mean "get an annoying stream of words in my head and then grab my child-sized acoustic guitar and play the one chord I know over and over".

I've written multiple "songs" about my sister and her stupid, beautiful red hair that always gets her a ton of attention; about Gen and that time she ate cat food; I've even written a thoughtful song for my mom when I was too poor to buy her a Mother's Day gift!

But I failed to break into autobiographical territory until this "song", about the unfortunate disproportionation (is that a word?) of my body.

So for all of you out there with T-Rex arms and lady boobs, this song goes out to you.

Sorry, Dad.



Note: I don't write down lyrics or even try to do a second take. That's why all my songs end abruptly and don't have any structure. Sorry, all real musicians, THIS IS A JOKE! Also, can I join fun.? 

Note, continued: I'm only writing this note because my one piece of blogger hate mail came from someone telling me I didn't know how to sing or play guitar. Uh, duh! Also send me more hate mail, that totally made me feel cool.

13 comments:

  1. You are completing f*cking warped, but in a good way, I think!

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  2. I fricken LOVE THIS. You have a lovely voice, you know that Kelly Bergin?

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    Replies
    1. OH NO HATE MAIL AGAIN!

      (Ha, thanks Jess.)

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  3. i loathe giving u compliments but your guitar playing has slightly improved.

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  4. this sounds like if fiona apple was more into comedy than being sad. This is a compliment.

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    Replies
    1. BEST COMPLIMENT EVER I LOVE YOU WHO ARE YOU

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  5. Your guitar playing is just a good as your Spanish! But, for songwriting purposes, I wish you had giant hands and feet and tiny boobs. That song would be really sad.

    What about "Gina's Emo?" That's my fave KPB single.

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  6. This is absurd. But sort of comical.

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  7. Emma likes the 'Emma' song better.

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  8. take adderal for a week and get better at guitar PLEASE and also since u already sold ur soul and moved to west hollywood, it will be acceptable to autotune ur voice

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