12/30/09

2009

This year has been a real challenge, a step forwards and one back in so many ways. A significant relationship ended and short term love became something I understood, could grab on to and remember later. I made decisions and I worked hard some days and was lazy others. I met people, friends who changed my life and became family. I listened to one song, fifty two times in a week. I moved in and out and dropped dishes on the floor.

I made peace with ends and beginnings and I fought silently so hard just to be okay. There were times I felt I could burst with happiness and others where I was not sure I would understand anything again. There were hospital beds, slept in more than one, two or three times but I was most at home in the house I grew up in and so I return, grateful and pleased.

I missed everyone and I wished you were here. Hundreds and hundreds of days and I wished you were here.

This year was something, something new; straddling youth and adulthood, whispering into the ear of both, I was bewildered. I felt changed and I consider it significant.

This year, more than any before, taught me that every month, minute and day means something. We are not here for long so let us remember this at least. Let us remember this, at least.

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