I've had a headache for thirteen years.

I've had a headache for a month but I keep saying I've had a headache for thirteen years like Rainman, over and over. I've had a headache for thirteen years!

It's such a dramatic thing to say. Thirteen years ago I was 12 and livin' the dream. Summer of 98 could not be beat. I belonged to a swim club, my boyfriend was cute and I had a flat stomach. Plus, Hanson was popular! I mean, I should have held onto that time for as long as I could have.

I did not have a headache thirteen years ago.

But I do have a headache now. I've taken so many drugs for this headache but it persists. I haven't gone to the doctors because that's not my style. My style is totally just taking whatever drugs I have lying around and then tweeting about it.

My style sucks.

Anyway. This headache! This headache feels like my brain is trying to physically separate itself from my skull and its best route is to crawl out through my left temple. I also have all these weird sensations on the top of my scalp and last week I woke up and my arm wouldn't stop twitching

So yeah, probably Early Onset Parkinson's Disease or something, I don't know. I shouldn't Google shit at 2 am while reading Michael J. Fox's memoir that I bought on Amazon when I couldn't sleep last week.

(Guys: what's wrong with me!? Diagnose me in the comments or something.*)

It feels like I've had a headache for thirteen years but it's only been a month, which is a short span of time (relatively speaking). I'm almost glad my mouth is so bad because it sort of takes away from the pain of my headache. Although my mouth is so bad I may just go to the ER later...

I'm going to go to sleep now, I took an Ambien. At 2 am. I mean that's just dumb. I have work tomorrow.


*Later we'll look back at say: This is where her blogging really slid downhill, but it's probably because of the brain tumor she didn't know she had.


  1. Kel, please see a doc! Also, this was funny...

  2. I love your blog. That's all.

  3. You are a good writer: you are eloquent, you are funny, and you are a heartbreaker. (I want you to go talk to your doctor even though I understand the possible repetitive tediousness of the act.)

  4. Okay....the only reason I'm commenting is because someone I recently spoke to had a headache for several months too. We have a headache clinic here, a neurologist dedicated to JUST headache stuff. She is an awesome doctor. Anyway, if you're seriously interested I could find out exactly what they prescribed her (funny thing, she literally just had a baby today so it might take me a while to get the info) but it had something to do with having to take an anti-seizure medication and anti-nausea meds too. I'm sorry if that's totally vague maybe a good jumping off point?? I feel for ya girl, I get migraines and they are NO joke. Hope your better soon!

  5. Thanks, I got Depakote in the hospital, which i think is anti-seizure. Plus Composense for nausea so I'm sure we're on the same cocktail. Thanks!!

  6. Oh good...yes Depakote is anti-seizure. This worked wonders for the person I know, so I hope it works/is working for you too!