It's Either Sadness or Insomnia


i don't sleep.


okay. fine. sometimes i do. but usually--

this is how things go:

i work. i come home. i eat chips and guac for dinner. i stifle yawns while sitting through a viewing of the real housewives of a new york city i don't live in. i say "i'm tired. i'm going to bed." i take off most of my clothes and get into bed. (IT IS HOT OUTSIDE.) i watch a scarring episode of six feet under and then i soothe my disturbed mind with a friends episode. i get halfway through a chandler joke before i hit the space bar, close my computer and try to fall asleep.

then i toss. oh, how i toss. i toss and i turn and i get cold and hot from the air conditioning. my mouth hurts. breathing hurts.

i say fuck it. i watch another episode of friends.

i fall asleep! yes. a dreamless, dull sleep.

three hours later, i wake up to use the bathroom. i curse my small bladder and my insane water consumption.

(side note: why am i always thirsty? if i remember correctly, this is how stacy from the BSC got diabetes! DIABEETUSSS!)

i stare into the bathroom mirror. i grimace or practice faces for an upcoming facebook profile pic change.

i get back into bed. my toes scratch my legs. i rub my eyes. i don't get anything done.

i stay awake for five more hours. i think about weird things. like if jurassic park could really happen, and tetris, and what would happen if you smoked a joint dipped in embalming fluid (thanks, six feet under. THANKS A LOT.) sometimes i think about death or hang gliding. it all depends on the night.

usually i refresh people.com and twitter until my eyelids burn from the screen.

i fall asleep at 6 am. 

my alarm rings at 8. i hit snooze. a long time later, i wake up for work. it feels like swimming to the surface, only with weights tied to my ankles and bags underneath my eyes.

i go to work. i am a zombie until i chug coffee and yell at taylor to bring me water.

i'm tired.

i need sleep.



  1. i have insomnia too. i take benadryl for allergies, and that helps me sleep. but it doesn't work for everyone.

    the other insomnia advice i've been given:

    ~ don't do anything in bed but sleep (and sex of course); don't watch tv, work on the computer or even read.

    ~ don't toss and turn for more than half an hour. if you're still awake, get up and read. (not tv, that can wake you up more). get back in bed when sleepy.

    ~ drink alcohol moderately and not near bedtime

    ~ eat well and get lots of exercise

    good luck! also, a sleep aid like ambien can help a lot, at least to get you back into a sleeping routine.

  2. thanks! it's so hard not watching stuff on my laptop before sleep, but i'll try :)

  3. haha jurassic park cannot happen. sleep well.

  4. Melatonin is great for insonmia! It's natural and non-addicting. It has helped me fall asleep, because for me, that is the hardest part...just falling asleep. Try it...you can find it in most stores, Wal-Mart, Target, even grocery stores. Good Luck ...you really need your sleep to function. E

  5. My son discovered that by dimming his laptop screen that it was easier to sleep afterwards. The amount of light your eyes absorb tells your brain that it is time to sleep. We've also discovered melatonin. I take a extended release kind because I can fall asleep pretty easily, but have problems staying asleep.

  6. BKH, get back in my life.

    Thanks! I will try all these remedies. And copious amounts of Xanax.

  7. Maybe you need a vacation. If not something extravagant, maybe a weekend getaway. I did see a study that said you should turn off the TV and computer one hour before getting in bed. Apparently, the "blue light" and the frequencies hinder restful sleep.

  8. You don't yell for water you yell for ice!

  9. taylor, be grateful you got a mention in my blog! now bring me ice.