You know it's a bad sign when...

1) Someone (or conglomerate) named vodkatwits begins following you on Twitter.

2) You have extreme chest pain and heightened heart rate during "I Love You, Man" and all you can think about is whether this means you shouldn't smoke (only occasionally, family member who read this.)

3) You take a cab instead of walking .44 miles (according to Google Maps).

4) A casual happy hour drink turns into nearly ruining your 8 year-long friendship with Meghan because you locked her out of your apartment, passed out and slept through six missed calls.

5) Pineapple juice tastes "off", and you realize it's because there's no vodka in it.

More to come as the signs that I should cease to exist pile up.


  1. .44 miles and you needed a cab?? that's pretty weak.

  2. Those are all very BAD signs.

    Where did we go wrong with you...

  3. I'm still in shock that you took a cab to AND from Union Pool. It is literally a 7 minute walk. Then again, maybe I should have taken one home as well seeing as I wound up picking up a guy in the produce section of a Natural Food's store.

    And as for your near heart attack, maybe you should stop asking movie theater associates to layer the butter on your popcorn. Just a thought...

  4. But, but, pineapple juice is the best for the sheer fact that its strong flavor does taste a bit like alcohol.

    I'm not even going to address that cab comment.

  5. Nick, you KNOW i have swollen joints!

    Or a worse case of laziness.

  6. hahaa love this kel. you made my day with the pineapple juice comment.

  7. Haha, u do love your buttered movie popcorn. I'll never forget the humiliation of having to "refill" the butter on ur popcorn halfway through a movie. I was trying to be apologetic for seeming like such a fatass when I realized the teenaged boy serving me was obese himself...

  8. Haha my sophmore year of college I told everyone at a fairly large college dining room table that the Cranberry juice had gone bad. (It was very much like the scene in Can't Hardly Wait where the kid from Hook says "NOBODY DRINK THE BEER! THE BEER HAS GONE BAD") And then my friend grabbed it and tasted it and said it was normal tasting. And I realized that it tasted weird because there was no vodka. :)

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