St. Patrick's Day--The Morning After

7:22 AM: Eyes flash open. Sit up quickly in bed. Look at my phone. It's only 7:22; I can sleep for twenty more minutes. Notice that I feel okay, not the least bit hungover.

7:43: Alarm goes off. Oh crap. I gotta shower. Realize the hangover has hit me a little bit late. I hit the snooze button.

7:53: Force myself out of bed. Rapidly thinking about excuses I could make to get out of work; realize there are none and I have no choice but to go. Will not trade career for hang over relief. Am not that stupid.

8:00: While in the shower, I remember an article I read on drinking yesterday. I took a quiz. One of the questions was "Is drinking affecting your career?" I said no. I lied.

8:30: Done with my hair, makeup, and dressed. Climb back into bed.

8:45: Finally leave my apartment for work. My 15 minute nap has not helped.

9:05: I arrive at work. Boss has decided to give me my 3 month review today. Pray that he does not notice my extremely bloodshot eyes, wobbly stance, and crankiness.

11:02: Look at last night's text messages. Sent my last one before passing out at 10 pm. Reads--"I'm addicted to cabs!" DAMMIT, I TOOK ANOTHER ONE.

11:13: Check bank account. Sob uncontrollably (yet silently and only in my head) at my desk.

Damn you, St. Patrick.


  1. Same thing happened to me.

  2. I think this blog deserves a follow up blog re: how the performance review went. Also this story should include the old man you were talking to whom you thought could get you a job at the daily news, because he worker there. This was almost plausible until he fell off his stool and broke out a harmonica to serenade the bartenders.

  3. well at least you showered. but i see you didn't brush your teeth. not surprised. and i agree w/ meghan on all points. aNNDd i'd like to point out that it is probably not smart to damn a saint, kelly PATRIC(k)ia bergin!

  4. I had an excellent review; I was told that I'm a joy to work with and that I'm all around awesome. He didn't even mentioned my lateness...

    and I brushed my teeth twice, actually. Vomit will really wreck the breath, Gen!

  5. at least you didn't have to go to a speaker at 930 in the morning to hear about poverty and homelessness. and because of your massive hangover, you were late and forced to sit in the very front row.

  6. Wish this was longer!

  7. Don't blame the saint!

  8. You forgot about calling your co-workers MC Squared and quasi-venting about joining the company softball team.

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