God is totally testing me right now

I just picked up a package at the reception desk at work. It was intended for the creative assistant from many years ago, so I figured it was something work related.

I opened it up to find a card and a gift, beautifully wrapped. The note read:

Dear Gummy Bear,
I really am start to feel like I'm chasing wind in the field. However, there is just something about your distant but pleasant personality that keeps me drawn to you. I hope we can get to know each other better soon.
Happy Birthday, Love Konrad

And there's a really nice gift attached. I am so tempted to open it! WHAT DO I DO?!?! God is totally testing me right now. I swear, am I being filmed for Primtetime or Dateline or something? 'Cos I'm totally about to fail!

And BTW, who the hell uses Gummy Bear as a nickname??

P.S. No more comment moderation. And you don't have to sign in to comment. Just throwing that out there. I don't want your comments, or anything. OK FINE, I HUNGER FOR THEM!


  1. Open it! Without a doubt!

  2. This must be KILLING YOU. Like when Chandler couldn't make jokes for his new year's resolution killing you!! I bet you opened it.

  3. Don't open it! It might be for someone in your office and then they'll hate you for stealing their gifts!
    And don't you know I call you Gummy Bear all the time?

  4. maybe its a jar of gummy bears!

  5. Update: I opened it and it's Dior perfume. I think God is trying to tell me that I smell. I don't care. It's free perfume. If I don't give it back, that is.

  6. you should have consulted aunt shirley. you know what you did is wrong. by the way I would have opened it!!!!!!!!!

  7. why would u open someone else's mail in the first place?

  8. Because it was addressed to the person that used to have my job, and I'm supposed to open all that stuff in case it's work-related, like an award we won or something.

  9. im surprised it wasnt lined with anthrax and the persons who job it used to be is trying to knock you off so they can get there old job back...you never know...


    oh and the other anonymous..show yourself its killin me that i dont know who it is.

  10. God is testing me by making me move about 200 miles away from all my family that loves me, to live with a dad that hates me, to fail at school which is so much harder, and I try so hard, and what do I get in return? Yelled at and cussed at and told I am wortheless and lazy by my dad. I get to school and am told I can do it, then I get home and told I am wortheless. Thanks alot God...i can see your hand in this...i hope his testing ends soon. I am sick of it.