- Ugh. Justin Bieber sucks. I can't believe I'm seeing this.
- It's starting. Wait, I don't know any of his songs.
- OMG! I LOVE THIS SONG!"
- Wait, can you pour me some beer?
- Taylor, I found a great way to cool our beer. Go get me some ice from the concession stand.
- And I was like Baby, baby, baby, NOOO!
- Do I look good in purple?
- Oh my God. He was the cutest baby ever.
- I wish I could go back in time and be a teen mom to Justin Bieber."
- If my son is not like Justin Bieber, I'll be so pissed.
- I just want to rock him! No! Not like that. Like a baby.
- Oh no. His vocal cords. I'm so upset.
- His grampa! I'M CRYING TAYLOR!!!
- Look at Justin. He's working so hard to attain the affection of his absentee father.
- Why? Why didn't we go to this concert at MSG?
- Omg I love him.
- Do you think he wrote One Less Lonely Girl for me?
- Jaden Smith is so cute. But probably an asshole. And a Scientologist.
- BIEBER FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!
- I will never say never again. I'm going to start volunteering."
Best. Movie. Ever.