Couch to BENGAY: In Which I Plead for Help

I've been running* on and off since August, when I was beginning to recover from my last hospitalization.

I ran for awhile Monday and then I took Tuesday off because I had to work go eat Mexican food and drink margaritas. (They were only a dollar!)

But for the past two days, I haven't had the energy to continue with my routine.

I am aware that it is hard to get back into shape. And the non-denial part of my brain is aware that this may be harder for someone with my, um, colorful medical history.

HOWEVER, I'm extremely competitive and want to be as good or better than everyone else participating in this stupid 5K! Which I am admittedly only running because there's a pancake breakfast at the end.

I mean, I'm so competitive that I once threw a Monopoly board out my second-story window when I lost a game to my cousins. At age 8, I chucked a Ouija board at my sister's head when we failed to bring John Candy back from the dead. I'm basically like Sydney from this week's Parenthood.


And so when I lose a couple of days to, you know, LUPUS and swollen joints and possible kidney problems (more on that later), I get pissed. And whiny.

I need your help, fellow new runners. I need some inspiration. A video of a three-legged dog running a marathon, or a sweet running playlist. (My current one is all Paul Simon, which contributes to the tears streaming down my face, which I lie and say is sweat.)

So please, dear Internet. Gimme what ya got. Show me what runners are made of.


*My 'running' is really me talking/jogging while screaming WHY GOD WHY and SKINNINESS IS THE ONLY WAY TO WIN MOTHER'S LOVE! (JK Mom, love you.)


  1. Are you doing the actual program? That really helps!

  2. Hey, I just started reading your blog. I found your site through Matt Logelin's blog. I am not a stalker, its either read blogs and pretend that I am working or actually work...so ya know.

    Anyway. I find that purchasing the right outfit always helps with motivation, so go out and get yourself a nice pair of white shorts...and make um short, knee high tube socks and a compression top. Crank the Chariots of Fire sound track and watch out sister...game on! Good luck.

  3. Freaking hilarious. At least you didn't give up like I did. If anything, do it for Uncle Buck.

  4. I will do it for John Candy, I will!

    I'm convinced it's a temporary plateau. I will run that race.

  5. this was like a bunch of tweets and hashtags lololol

    -ur 2nd biggest fan

  6. Not blogging anymore. JUST TWEETING THEN, ANONYMOUS.

  7. http://www.wanderings.net/notebook/Main/DickAndRickHoyt

    .. if the link doesn't work look up Dick and Rick Hoyt