Boob Tube; Alternately: Reasons Why YouTube Should Not Exist, Part One

Sometimes instead of sleeping or working on grad school applications, I watch YouTube videos of tragedies/major news events from my youth.

Tonight was another one of these nights.

It all started out so innocently, as it always does. Prince William got engaged, so I was People.comming that shit and then, before I knew it, an hour had passed and I had spent most of that time watching news clips announcing Princess Di’s death and highlights of her funeral (THEY CALLED IT HIGHLIGHTS. OF A FUNERAL. AND I WATCHED IT.)

Then I moved onto John F. Kennedy, Jr. (John-John Is Gone-Gone: actual New York Post headline that I oddly remember, even though I was 13) and now I’m on 9/11 again, which makes me really sad and nauseous but I watch the breaking news clips anyway.

I’m really curious about O.J. Simpson so maybe he’s next (something about a car chase?) and I probably need to find out who the Menendez brothers are, because The Nanny keeps referencing them. I’m going to find out, and also figure out what happened in the Korean war (you know, since my grandfather got TWO Purple Hearts fighting in it), and then cry some more about Tim Russert.

And maybe then I’ll take a Xanax and let myself pass out.


  1. Omg girl, you have the worst sleep habits!



  2. not tim russert again

  3. Such a short post and yet so many things to comment on... "people.comming" I didn't realize that was a verb, try John Ritter next, that one was rough for me.

  4. Don't even mention John Ritter to Kelly. That still sends her off into hysterics. And absolutely no more Tim Russert. I won't even talk about Michael Jackson with her for fear it will send her off into a rendition of Man In The Mirror. I don't get the MJ version in my head anymore, I get Kelly's version of it.

  5. i totally thought of you first when i heard about prince william!! and also i can still picture your mom crying hysterically over john-john. maybe its genetic.

  6. IT'S TOTALLY GENETIC, ASH. My mother raised me on Kennedys and death!

    Re: John Ritter. That was a really rough time for me.


  7. Remember when u had to'sit me down to tell me about heath

  8. That was a hard day for all of us, G.

  9. This was the most authentically "Kelly" post. Hilarious.