My Heart Will Go On (A Kelly Blogs from the Hospital Post)

One morning not so long ago, I was flossing my teeth (as I do every single day, Doc!) when I tasted blood filling my mouth and quickly realized I had broken one of my back molars.

Now, I'm not the best about oral hygience. I don't have dental insurance, and the medicine I take contributes to easily broken bones and teeth. Until I got obsessed with those little flosser things, I hardly ever flossed. (Unless I'd eaten an everything bagel.) But as I've matured and become obsessed with flossing, my teeth have improved.

Naturally, since I'm so responsible about my health, I ignored the aching jaw that had kept me up more than once. Yesterday my condition worsened and it was apparent it was infected, so I hauled ass to the ER, where they have a dental clinic. I was in the ER for nine hours until they decided to give me pain meds and antibiotics, and force me to come back to their clinic for repair.

I gathered my stuff and called my dad to come get me. As I waited, exhausted (it was well past 1 am at this point), my doctor came in with a look on her face.

"Your heart rate is out of control. We need you to stay."

My heart? I came in here for my jagged hobo tooth! What's love (okay, my heart) got to do, got to do with it?

It turned out by pulse hadn't dipped below 130 in 9 hours, which is a Very Bad Sign. Most people have a pulse around 60. Considering I was resting this entire time and am in fairly OK shape, it's worrisome. My colorful medical history worries most doctors, as lupus is possibly responsible for inflammation in my ventricles.

And so I was admitted to the cardiac and stroke unit this morning at 5 am, where they promptly hooked me up to a million wires.

I'm stuck with sensor thingies everywhere from under my boobs (or what I call N0-Man's Land) to my feet.

I look like ET, when he's being tested by awful, curious humans. They even forced me to wear a bag around my neck to carry the sensor. Pretty sure that won't be debuting this week at New York Fashion Week.

Hopefully tests will prove that my heart is really fine (and it TOTALLY is, all ex-boyfriends!) and I'll get to leave today or tomorrow.

Until then thanks for the wishes.

And no worries....



Kelly "Ba Boom" Bergin


  1. Dottie, you better get well, you have to see me in Denver in a couple of weeks!

  2. Even when u r sick you make me laugh!

  3. I happen to think you will be debuting that bag at fashion week. Work it girl! (Love you) xxx

  4. Halter monitors are the next fashion trend I hear...
    Sorry you have this to contend with. Will keep checking back for updates.

  5. Good golly girl. Your sassy attitude and good humor should be enough to tell them your heart is in super shape. Just to be safe though, I'm glad they'll check you out from stem to stern. Hang in there. We love you! xox

  6. Love you Kelly and hope you, your spunky spirit, and your amazing heart are out of that hospital soon.

  7. "My, my, my heart like a kick drum":


    Feel better, kb! Your hair looks cool, btw. Great volume.

  8. Love your spirit, girlfriend.

    I hope your heart calms down and you can leave that place. xo

  9. Hi, honey! I think that doc must have a thing for you, because he sure keeps you around a lot. ;-) Silly doctors, don't they know you have a bustling schedule--rivers to raft, mountains to climb, cities to conquer (Paris or Rome, was it?). Well, rest now & blast out of there as soon as you can.
    dahlila xo

  10. The No-Man's land made me lol.

  11. Hey Kelly, just remember what the Wizard of Oz said to the Tin Man, "A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much your are loved by others." Which translates to:You're heart is in better shape than all of us!

  12. Hopefully they never put a cpap mask on your face. It's just so sexxay.