12/23/08

I'm a bad, bad person.

Bad Things I Do In Life (the first list in a very important series)

Like Santa, I'd figure it'd be easier to make a list. So henceforth my list of really bad things that I do even though I know better continues....

1. Using the word retard to describe stupid, non mentally impaired people. As in: Greg, you're a retard if you don't go to college.

2. Taking a whiff of my armpits on the subway even though I know people can see. Now this is just plain embarrassing. But sometimes you're not sure if it's you or the homeless guy singing "Amazing Grace".

3. Not giving aforementioned homeless guy my spare change so I can get expensive 'wichcraft for lunch

4. Not recycling (see above)

5. Ordering, eating and enjoying veal francaise. And I was the only one who ordered it at a table of twelve where we were offered beef tips or veal. Seriously: WHO LIKES BEEF TIPS??

6. Laughing at children when they cry. Sometimes it's funny when they fall! They look like little drunk sailors and then BOOM, they just fall over. I love kids (some may call me a baby licker), but they ARE funny when they fall.

7. Spending less than $10 on a Christmas gift (Sorry ____, you'll see come Christmas Day)

8. Encouraging Gen to use the handicapped sticker she has when there's hardly any parking at the mall and then using lupus as an excuse. Whoops.

9. Using my disease to get out of stuff I don't want to do. Saturday Mother was on a menopausal tear and tried to force me to clean (IT WAS MY DAY OFF) and I faked a vomit attack so I could sleep all day and not have her bother me. I also caught up on the Samantha Who? episodes I missed, as well as Desperate Housewives. Sorry, Mom.


I wish these things were an accident, so I could look back and saw "Whoops, I didn't know". But sadly, I know. I know and I do it anyway. I am a disobedient toddler. I'm going through my Terrible (Twenty) Twos.

I know you guys aren't angels...so fess up!


8 comments:

  1. Okay... I remember that there's laundry to be finished but I wait for the hubs to do it and tell him I forgot/didn't know it was there.

    I fed my daughter mcdonald's nuggets at the ripe old age of 10ish months but yet I don't want to giver her juice.

    I'm sure I have more to add... happy?

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  2. I wish I could relate, but as your parents have said, I'm perfect. Sue me!

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  3. I use the handicap sticker even when I don't have your lupus excuse, like when its raining out and I don't want to get water marks on my Coach boots.

    And I use gay to describe stupid, non-homosexual...uh everything.

    Oh and I also use the N word while rapping. I mean its in the lyrics, it would mess up my flow to leave it out!

    Wow we have so many bad habits in common, that must be why we're besttesttt frienddsss!

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  4. im so honored to be mentioned in your newest blog, and for Gen, i think it was once said in a Lil' Wayne song, that Cuban's can say the N word. So you can just go ahead and scratch that off your list.

    from,
    your brother, Gregory

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  5. Brenna, well said. Katie, bad. Gen, you're the worst person I know. Greg, you suck.

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  6. OMG you are NUTS. I am sure you will be out of Med Ad soon as they will figure out that you are 1) way to talened 2) know you are playing hooky while some ACD is waiting for her expense money so she can EAT. As for things I do wrong--list is way short and full of lies as we all know Geeky is perfect--wanna buy a bridge?

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  7. Don't feel bad. i got hank a $2.14 whistle for christmas. he coaches annie's basketball team.
    Love
    Emily

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  8. and using your diseases to get out of going out at night when you have nothing to wear or are too lazy to shower!! ha

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