They named their baby Bronx.

Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson have named their child Bronx.

I love the Bronx, I really do...but...

What the hell? Why in God's good name would you name your baby after a drug-riddled, prostitute-filled, poverty stricken borough? Jesus! Why don't you just called the kid Drug Dealer and cut out the middle man?!? As a resident of the Bronx for four long years (in Riverdale....shh, don't kill my street cred), I witnessed firsthand some of the treacherous problems plaguing my beloved Bronx. One time a man dressed in black tried to get into my cab at 4 am after one of my nights of raucous partying in the Fordham section of the Bronx. Sure, I was pretty hammered, so I MAY have invited him in, but still! I could have been killed! Or finally gotten a boyfriend! (This was during a long stretch of freshman/sophomore year that I call Kelly: The Single Years.)

All I'm saying is if they were trying to be like the Beckhams (who have a son named Brooklyn), I think Staten Island sounds a lot better than the Bronx. Pete's Italian right? They could have dressed the little baby up, greased his hair with glue, and made the baby a true homage to its name. What are they going to do now??

Bronx Wentz. I mean, really?


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